The Art of Speaking: The Beginning

Creator: Vishwa Vijayasankar

What if I asked you the similarity between animals and humans. They can breathe, reproduce, and have cells. Thank you for the scientific explanation, but let us think in simpler terms. All of them can and do talk. Yes they do!

Imagine this situation: you and a friend meet up after years, in a family gathering, and after spending hours playing video games, sports, and talking, you guys want one last satisfaction: a sleepover. Off the bat, you can test your luck, and run to your parents and ask “Can I have a sleepover with Johnny?” You may get a “yes” or even a “no,” but I suppose it won’t be an easy conversation. Open to any alternatives?

Let’s break this down. First, let us identify our end goal, a sleepover, and let us think about the influential people, or those we depend on. In this case, we rely on our parents for permission, a companion (Johnny) to have our sleepover with, and his parents to allow Johnny to have it with you. Knowing our audience is the key here. Let us say your parents are strict, caring, but overprotective parents as of now. They are glad to permit you to have fun as long as you have completed crucial tasks such as homework, chores, and spent family time. This piece of information is the key to our lock.

One way to convey your intention of a sleepover is by presenting the need for it. Now, you may think what do you mean you need for it, which I will get to. For example, you can start your lead-in like the following: “I was wondering…,” “To make it easier…,” or “How does this sound?” The tone present in all these sentence starters are one of expression rather than declaration. Yes, there is a difference between the two. Expression is when you are sharing your belief while allowing others to take exercise or challenge it whereas declaration is when you are forcing others to accept your belief. Especially with parents, declaration is a no-no. You want to kindly ask for their opinion while hinting at your stance.

I know it is easier said than done, so let’s simulate it. Using our sentence starters, let us say that you mention to your parents “Wow, today has been a grind. I completed three history assignments, and two english assignments.” This is called setting up the stage. At this point, you are including the hard work you have performed throughout the day, hinting at your desire for relaxation. After hearing all the assignments you have completed, your parents are able to recognize your hard work and are more inclined towards rewarding that. This is where you propose “It would be amazing if I can have a sleepover with Johnny tonight. It would be a mind refresher.” Here is where you have conveyed a solution to the potential problem of sleeping with a stressful mind. In relation to the previous statement, you introduce a need for relaxation by exaggerating your day’s toll, and follow up with a statement as a potential solution. As a result, your parents are forced to start in a defensive position, which makes it so they can only refuse to accept your points, but not prove them wrong. Now for the finale, you show them you are ready by joining with Johnny and showing your stuff packed. I mean that may be extreme, but that is essentially the conveying point. By doing so, you parents lose the energy and desire to argue with you as you are a step away from fulfilling your desire, and knowing that the situation is justifiable, there is not much they can do to refuse the sleepover. Repeat the formula to Johnny’s parents and...

Boom! You got yourself a sleepover. All it took was three main steps: identifying the problem (need for a sleepover), knowing your audience (yours and Johnny’s parents), providing the need (stressful day and efficient work), a potential solution (a sleepover), and preparation (a willing friend and packed items).

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